Now, here's proof that septic work has begun finally. We have been told that we should try for the Guiness Book of World Records for the longest escrow and who knows, maybe when it's all said and done we will! (See all the water in the bottom of the hole? That's been the problem...high water table!)

For now, we are just excited to watch this amazing work unfold in our almost very own backyard. Three weeks from now it will almost be complete.

We are finally starting to envision the ways we want to transform the space into The Center of Creative Transformation. We plan to add a labyrinth to the left of the bulldozer and the building in the back on the right will host our gatherings. There's a ton of pruning to be done, a ton of painting, and myriad of other chores and we are ready.

In spite of the holidays rapidly closing in, I know we will enjoy every minute of change.

And where is your path leading you? My path today continues to lead me to places I still can't imagine. As you might imagine, this can sometimes be downright stupifying. If I don't know where I'm going, how can I possibly step out with confidence?

The reality is we never really know where we are headed; we just like to think we know. Each step we take guarantees that we are ever farther away from our beginnings. And because we can't predict the outcomes, each step is leading us who knows where!

Anyway, that's what I'm thinking of this evening as I view this picture of me walking in Julian, CA, last spring. The cool thing that happened? We got snow. So, instead of having a beautiful spring day that I might have imagined, I had to buy gloves and a beanie! So, I hope that whatever path you are walking today that you walk it lightly and with inspired confidence, esp. if you have no clue where you are headed!

After all, someone or something is guiding you...

The Saga Continues.

If anyone can believe it, days away from beginning the septic project, everything stopped. What happened is that an easement stipulation was overlooked by the engineer and after having the property surveyed, the septic mound won't fit.

Now we are back to the drawing board and back to waiting. We will now be getting a drip disposal field or something like that. It will take another week to design, the county still has to approve it, and the supplies will take 2 weeks to order. Then, if we are lucky the system will be built. Now won't that be darned excited. We only hope to move in before the rains begin, since it doesn't yet have its new roof. And yup, it needs one.

Today we went out to our "almost ours" home. We are waiting for our alternative septic to be completed and I can tell you it has been the longest wait ever. Ten months and counting. Today the company came out and we now have about four new holes dug in the yard. I found out that instead of two weeks it will take at least four. Another month...

What has Heart and Meaning for me today?

I am still sitting in the space of reflection after speaking yesterday at the funeral of a client and friend. I am also preparing to close escrow on our house that we have been waiting for since October of 2005. It's impossible to believe that our dream move could take so long but it has. We are now looking towards an August 22, 2006 closing date. This is a vision in the making (a long one) but it's got tons of heart and tons of meaning for me.

So, tonight I sit in gratitude and look at all that life brings and just say "thank you."

The Meaning of Life

Today as I think about my work as an elder coach and as someone who brings new life to the world of death and dying, I am amazed at the strength of humanity in the face of pain and loss and suffering. In many ways we have been led to believe we are not strong enough to handle the depth of human emotion. We have been fed a steady diet of positive thinking, of getting over it, getting on with it, and in general being told that only the "good" emotions are worthy of our time.

I just don't agree and it is part of my passion and work in the world to bring the full range of human expression back to the table. Let's learn to sit with our tremendous ability to see life in its full and sometimes gory detail. Let's honor our suffering, give it right timing and then when we have fully and completely expressed this, and only then, let's move into revisioning our experience.

There are so many ways we can explore how to do this. I just spent some time with one of my elder clients as he was in the middle of the labor pains of death. Although I work with hospice, I usually attend the family when the patient has already died. But I have been working with this elder for a year and a half and I wanted to be there to support him in his transition.

I spent a couple of hours this week with him, priviledged to be allowed to share the space with his family. But I'm not going back to his town to see him and I am waiting to hear news of his actual death.

Now what's interesting is that he still brought humor into this setting. But he certainly was no Pollyanna and it was plain to see the difficulty in the situation. So, my point? Suffering exists. Until we transcend this earthly body we will grieve. Let's do it with sacredness, intention, and attention. To do less demeans our humanness and keeps us avoiding that which at times we most need to express.
(Photo by Sweet Mango Photography)

The Blue Whale

Last week Bob and I went out on a catamaran to see dolphins and maybe a whale. We were celebrating our 19th year of marriage. To take me out on the water is definitely a challenge to Bob cause he gets seasick pretty easily.

He knows I love the water and so there we were, out on the ocean together with about 25 others. We had gone out for a distance and hadn't seen a whale or dolphin when the captain got word of a blue whale out there somewhere.

After a while, suddenly someone started shouting and pointing out to the distance. "It's a footprint of the whale." someone said. I had never seen this before and was awed by the calmness in the middle of the vastly rolling waters.

Suddenly with lots of shouting and pointing we had our first peak at OUR whale. For the next 45 minutes we stayed with him/her enjoying the journey of rising out of the water and then falling back into the vastness of the ocean.

The blue whale I found out is the largest animal/mammal in the world, even bigger than the dinosaurs. Now that is impressive.

I felt so alive that day. The salt spray on my face, and blue whale breath on my cheek, I really felt one with the earth and all creation. The best meditation practice I'd had in a long time.